Through the first week!

So I have made it through the first week of Bob Harper's Skinny Rules.  I even had two days of work and I planned ahead and made my lunches snacks.  I have not had any diet coke since Sunday!!! I have only had water to drink since Monday!  That has been difficult because I rely on diet coke at work, it is my morning and afternoon treat.  However, I have pushed through and only had water to drink.

Tonight I made dinner when I got home!  I had grilled steak with roasted asparagus and tomatoes.  Yummy! I can't wait to make that again because I think it will taste better. Tonight was sort of experimental but it was pretty delicious by my terrible-at-cooking standards.

I even worked out on the tread climber tonight after work while the food was cooking.  I am feeling really good about this.

I also had a great day at work! I was in the nursery and it was actually a pretty mild day.  Plus I got to work with my two favorite Neonatologists, Dr. Moraille, and Dr. Theile.  I was talking to Rich (Dr. Moraille) about my caffeine dilemma and how I have been having horrendous headaches.  I can't really have a coffee maker because I literally have NO counter space.  He suggested I get a french press and even suggested this really good coffee that is also cheap, which is awesome because I only drink Starbucks and that can get expensive.  So on Sunday I am going to buy the french press and coffee and try it out.

the end

Nothing tastes better than skinny feels...especially blueberries!

Today marks the first day I actually start Bob Harper's Skinny Rules!  For those of you who don't know who Bob Harper is, he is one of the trainers of The Biggest Loser.  He wrote a book called the Skinny Rules and I have just finished reading it through.  It has 20 rules that seem fairly easy to follow.  I think the one that will be hardest to follow will be the one about no more fast food!!!

Ah! No more fast food?  How will I survive. Fast food is easy and convenient and fat and greasy and is slowly killing me and filling my arteries with plaque, giving me higher blood pressure, making me gain weight, and giving me bad skin... Okay, maybe this one won't be so hard to follow after all!  Bob makes some very good arguments about why he wrote these rules and it actually has been very educational to read.  I have learned a lot about my body and how it processes food and what I need to start doing to make it process better food in a better way!  I highly recommend this book even if you just want to eat healthy.

So now that I have read the whole book, it's time for me to try it on and figure out if this is really going to work.  (btw, I have all the confidence that everything he is saying will make me successful in my epic journey to losing weight, however, I am fat and have been my entire life.  I didn't get this way because I love to exercise and eat healthy food and cook.  I have a lot of habits to break and new habits to make. and let's just say that's quite intimidating!)

This morning I woke up at the early hour of 11am.  I know, I know that's pretty bad but I went to bed late and I was tired!  I completed one rule, drinking a glass of water within the first 15 minutes of awaking.  PS that is difficult when you usually don't place anything in your gut until at least 3 hours after waking.  But nevertheless I did it.  And I am now in the process of trying to eat breakfast.

So my choice for this morning was a skinny shake (milk, berries- I chose blue, and greek yogurt).  Mmmm yummy! No really it's not horrible but I don't think these are the best blueberries Kroger has ever sold.  Then to pair with that, greek yogurt (this is plain) and berries (again all I have are fresh blues) and almonds.  Plus a sliced apple.  The apple went down great and the shake, well let's just say I'm still trying?  The plain greek yogurt with berries and almonds...not the best.  His idea is that the less sweet we eat at the beginning the more we WON'T crave it in a few weeks.  I am all for this! I hate craving sweets, so I am game. But these blueberries are killing me.  I really think that's what it is.  I guess I don't like blueberries as much as I thought. I shall try strawberries next time.

So breakfast is as far as I have gotten.  I think for lunch I will eat Bob's Cobb salad.  Yummy!  I will let you know how I do.  Tomorrow will be the real test because I work all day.  However, Bob's whole foundation of the Skinny Rules is planning ahead...a whole week ahead, yikes! So my afternoon will be preparation and deciding what I will eat the rest of the week, which is not one of my strengths, hence my love affair with fast food!!!

Lost

I need me some more Jesus!  Tonight at church we sang this song:

In the morning, when I rise

In the morning, when I rise

In the morning, when I rise

Give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus, give me Jesus, you can have this whole world, just give me Jesus.

When I am alone

When I am alone

When I am alone

Give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus, give me Jesus, you can have this whole world, just give me Jesus.

When I come to die

When I come to die

When I come to die

Give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus, give me Jesus, you can have this whole world, just give me Jesus.

I really like the cry of these words and I want this to be the song of my heart.  Sometimes I forget that this world is so full of nothingness and the only thing that anyone needs, that I need, is Jesus. 

My priorities are so screwed up and it's time to change them back to where I was on my last post.

Teach me your way Lord, that I may rely on your faithfulness, give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. (psalm 86:11)

I wish I had a thousand tongues, because if I did, I would praise God with every one of them!

Cornerstone Christian Church is finally letting go and letting GOD take control. It has been so inspiring to see how God has moved through our congregation in the past weeks.

Dad started this class called, Share Jesus Without Fear. It was wonderful. Almost everyone who goes to our church was coming and getting really involved and inspired, myself included.

Last week was the most Holy Spirit filled worship service I have ever been to! It started in Sunday School. We had a couple of new young adults named Amy and Jonas. We looked in the last few verses in Isaiah chapter 53, where it talks about Jesus as the intercessor for transgressors. I can't really explain how it happened, but the Holy Spirit ignited a fire within me and I became so overwhelmed by the Love of Jesus Christ and how not only did He show this great Love thousands of years ago on the cross, but daily He continues to show His Love for us by being our advocate before God.

See we are sinful, disgusting creatures. So disgusting, in fact that God cannot even look upon us. People like to take what Jesus did on the cross and only see the pretty, aw Jesus loves us and He died for us part and only focus on that. But what they fail to realize (what I forget a lot of the time) is the magnitude of what Jesus really did. In the garden of Gethsemane, Jesus was kneeling before His Father while drops of sweat and blood poured from his forehead. He begged God to take this cup from Him. Jesus wasn't afraid of being beaten, flogged, whipped, ridiculed and then nailed to a cross. The cup He is referring to is the cup of God's wrath. God's wrath for countless sinners and sins whom He hates. I never looked at sin this way, that God actually HATES it. In the book of Psalms it's actually said 50+ times how much God hates sin. I mean I knew He not too pleased by sin, but He is so perfect and Holy that He cannot even look upon it. I mean I have always known this but it never really affected me because I knew I had Jesus.

Which was why I got so excited and stirred up in Sunday School, because Jesus is my advocate to the Father, even though I am disgusting and filled with sin, because of the wrath Jesus endured on the cross, because Jesus died and yet still conquered the death and the grave, I can have a close and intimate relationship with my Holy, Perfect, Heavenly Father!!!! I was so excited leaving class Sunday.

I had to sing two songs that morning in the worship and it seemed so perfect to sing the first "O Praise Him" by David Crowder Band. I just let the Holy Spirit take control, by the end of the song I had no clue what I was singing, but I certainly felt the power of God in that sanctuary!! The whole worship service continued on that way.

Then dad got up to preach. He preached on the church that Christ is building. How the church is imperfect and Jesus wanted it that way. He gave examples of the imperfect people who started the church of Christ. Like Paul who was the worst of all sinners, who blasphemed the church and voted for Christians to be murdered. And Peter, who continuely asked stupid questions and always stuck his foot in his mouth. Dad ended his sermon with a challenge (which will not be as good as he said it but it's the general jist--I was furiously taking notes).

To be THE church of Christ, to submit to His will and obey His commands.

It was amazing. I have been waiting for a challenge like that. Cornerstone is finally getting it and I think God is going to use us!

I am so excited to be a servant of the Lord and I have been praying daily for Him to use me however he wants. In the past few months, God has been working on my heart and pulling me closer to Him. As much as I have been trying to completely serve Him and not focus on myself, it has not been going quite that way. God has really opened my eyes to what He has been trying to say to me for a long time. I am so excited to share this with you all:

I have been trying to read as much of the Bible I possibly can in the past 2 months or so. I have been trying to be in fellowship with the Lord constantly throughout each day. After all, our relationship with Christ is supposed to start fresh and new each day. Praise God we can pick up our crosses DAILY and follow Him. One passage I came upon is in the book of Ephesians chapter 5:14: "for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said: "Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you." God has truly called me to WAKE UP and RISE FROM THE DEAD. You see I have been living a skin deep christianity. I only let God come into my life so far and then I get scared of the intimacy and close up. I haven't been truly following Him with my whole life. I have only given Him parts of me and the rest I have selfishly kept for myself. But God has awakened my soul!!! Praise the Lord! I am so excited. Instead of focusing on what I want out of life, I have now finally begun to focus on what God wants out of me. I am focused on how God can use me as His true and faithful servant. I am so excited! I saw on my friend Tiffany Johnson's facebook a status that has rang truer for me in the past few months than ever before in my life. I am paraphrasing and I added some of my own: The closer and more intimate my relationship gets with my Heavenly Father, I am shown how much of a sinner I am, but it's when you get to that point when you realize you can't live without Him and so I press on toward to goal of truly being Christ like in every possible way! I have become so intimate with God that I now can no longer live without this level of intimacy. Even though I am shown how much of a sinner I am -- it's even the little things like mean thoughts about someone or speeding--but I have to press on, I cannot look back now. (And by no means am I high on the intimacy level rankings I am still far away, but I am closer than ever before!) I want to live like Christ. I want to follow His commands. Dying to self and daily picking up my cross and following Christ. Just as Paul said it, For me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain! I have officially died to myself today. I do it everyday. I still struggle with sin and desires of the flesh, but I have to continually pick up my cross and follow Him. I only want what the Lord wants in me. I only want to be a servant of the Lord. Before I was consumed with what I could get out of this world and only giving God enough of me so He wouldn't get in my way. But now I have let God have complete control over my heart and with that I have been given a new heart and new desires. I am so excited to truly live for my Lord.

Please pray for me as I keep this up. It is only because of the Power of Christ Jesus who dwells within me that I can really say and do any of this! So that is the update on what has been going on in my life spiritually. I hope it makes sense. I have been keeping this inside of me for too long, only because I wasn't totally sure how to say it all.

Longest Pause Ever!

I can't believe it has been over a month since my last post. So much has been happening in every area of my life I don't even know where to begin!

I guess I'll start with work, cause that's the quickest. I have been working on the Mother/Infant Unit for over a month now. I have been taking on the full load with minimal help from my preceptor. Our unit has been extremely busy. Apparently 8-10 months ago a lot of people conceived babies because I have four patients every single day. (and when I say four, I really mean eight because we have babies too). It has been really fun. I really absolutely one hundred percent LOVE my job. Praise God for providing me with a great job that I can actually be excited about waking up at 530 am and going to.

I have been learning so much and becoming more comfortable with my assessment skills, teaching patients, and taking telephone orders from doctor's and talking to doctor's. Our residents are really cool and they aren't mean at all (yay!).

However, I am still SUPER uncomfortable teaching my mother's how to breastfeed. It's a very hard skill (not just the act of breastfeeding but teaching really dumb people to do it). Okay okay it's quite harsh for me to call them dumb, but I don't know any other adjective for someone who can't comprehend what I am saying to them. I mean it's not hard to follow directions. I think I just need experience teaching and I need to follow a lactation nurse so I can really learn more.

Tomorrow I will be taking my Newborn Assessment class. I am really excited about it. Not that I don't already know how to assess my newborns but I think I will learn a lot of how to use my assessments to make decisions about newborn care. I just really love my job and I love that I don't only take care of mother's and babies, but I also get to care for our Antepartum patients (still pregnant). West is the only Mount Carmel hospital where their Mother Infant Unit also takes high risk Antepartums. I will be taking my external fetal monitoring class soon which will help me assess how my babies inside mommies are doing.

Our Maternity Center also just became a Level III. Which basically means our Special Care Nursery has become a Neo-natal Intensive Care Unit, our Labor and Delivery won't transfer our high risk patients to OSU and Mother/Infant will be taking care of more high risk patients too.

I have many more stories but I need to get some shut eye. Tomorrow I will hopefully update you on other areas of my life. I love everyone and miss you all!

So we need a book...

So last night I ventured down to Washington Court House for a Bible study my friend Tiffani was holding.

Stop! I must tell a brief story:

I left my house at 4pm so I could make it to her house by 430. But I desperately needed gas so I stopped at the Turkey Hill (always cheaper than everyone else, yay). I got out in the bitter 9 degree cold weather (probably nothing to complain about with the Sullivans reading). I opened the little gas door and tried with all my might to open the stupid fuel cap. (side note I have been driving this car for over two years now and I am very familiar with how to unscrew the fuel cap). I couldn't unscrew it. Alas I was too weak to get it to turn the right way and I ended up being very frustrated--you see this winter different parts of my car have frozen at different times---my trunk froze shut, my doors each have frozen shut and my driver door has also frozen open (literally it would not close). Needless to say I am sick of frozenness. So after a long 20 minutes of trying to unscrew the cap a kind gentleman walks over and helps. Once he is able to get it unscrewed he then proceeds to school me on how I have to unscrew until it clicks. Ding ding ding ding ding!!!! Hello I know that I couldn't get it that far moron. But thanks for the help goodbye.

The End...hardly brief...

So onward I went on my trek knowing I would not arrive until a late 5pm. No worries I was still the first to arrive. Anyway, one of the guys named Lee brought this like essay thing he had written after a long study and devotional in the word of God last week (alone) and it was cool. So since they don't have a book they study through he thought that maybe we could all go through it. So we did. It was on Spiritual Purity and he had a lot of good things to say.

I was impressed because Lee has only been a christian for a solid year but he has so consumed himself in the Lord that he is very inspiring. (However, he does need some help on certain subjects). We got into some pretty heavy debates about once saved, always saved and also the baptism of the Holy Spirit. Lee believes that none of us have been baptized by the Holy Spirit yet and I had to

SHUT

HIM

DOWN...

Just kidding but we debated for a good 45 minutes on it and I was trying to persuade him otherwise since....welll.......he's W R O N G ! It was funny because toward the end he was like "I know I don't know a lot about this subject so I am not trying to persuade you otherwise." And I was like, "Well good because you won't. But believe me, I AM trying to persuade you otherwise." I can't get into to details of why he thinks we haven't been baptized yet because I left my notes in my car and I am sitting barefoot in my PJs. But basically it is because there is a verse in Hebrews that speaks about people who have been saved and willfully sin have given up Christ's sacrifice and they cannot have it again. And he says that he hopes he hasn't been baptized in the Holy Spirit because he has willfully sinned since being saved and he is like then I don't get to go to heaven. Whoa! This kid seriously needs discipled! (by my father because he is the smartest) just kidding about dad being smartest, he's not but Lee really likes dad and it would be a good idea. It just sucks cause Lee lives in Chillocothe.

It was really cool to be in that atmosphere though. I love being around peers who love the Lord as much as me. There was a total of 7 of us and I am going again on Saturday. I really think we need to use a book though just so we can stay centered and someone smarter than ourselves aka the book author can keep us grounded.

I love Lee a lot but he just doesn't know quite enough and he has strange convictions to be in charge of a Bible Study. I just don't know quite what to do because, Lee for one doesn't like using books because he thinks that the Holy Spirit can give us what we need to know and we shouldn't rely on other men to help. ( which again is semi right but really just wrong--it's not reliance on men's thoughts---we use people who are smarter than us to help guide us and teach us how to use and study the Bible properly so we can properly listen to what the Holy Spirit has to teach us)--besides um Paul to Timothy--that's all I have to say.

And also I am at a crossroads. I am still trying to find where a woman's place is in the church. Can I lead the Bible study with men there who are older than me? I don't know if this is okay since I am a woman. I see my mom helps lead the young adults sunday school but she helps my dad---a man. And Aunt Ana helps lead the Young Adults at her church but she helps Uncle Jim---a man. Where do single women fit? Can I be the leader of this group even though there are men or can I only lead a women's study (just background on the group, Lee--baby christian, is the only guy who comes all the time other than Tiffani's husband who doesn't get home from work until 9pm so it's either baby christian or me). This is how I grew up and I just don't know what I should do--let me know what you think. (I guess now that I really think about it in the Young Adults thing we did that Tommy led at our house we each took turns and women would teach a lesson so is that the same thing?)

So we need a book and if anyone has suggestions other than Crazy Love (because so many of us have already done it) than please leave a comment.

Sorry I dragged this on for so long. I am super excited to have a group to go to for Young Adults during the week. Pray for us as we try to get more organized and learn more. Also some other prayer requests:

Pray for Lee because like I said he has some strange convictions and he really needs some discipleship

Pray for another guy in our group Chance--he has been a Christian for a few months now and I got to know him better last night. He really has a thirst for knowledge, he just doesn't know how to obtain it. I encouraged him to dig into the word and pray as much as possible because God can reveal things to him and I encouraged him to get involved at a church. He hasn't been going to one because life has gotten in the way. (Chance has been dealt a crappy hand of cards in life so also pray for him to remain strong in his faith even though he is surrounded by nonbelievers in everyday life).

Pray for my friend Katie too (another person in the group) she is dealing with some heavy life stuff and just needs the grace of God.

Thanks everyone! God Bless!

need new title for blog

I need to figure out a new title for my blog. I clearly can't call it confessions of an unemployed nurse anymore and I'm sick of Hmmm being up there. I just don't know what to call it. I am a very boring person. I don't really have a lot going on. Today I slept in and then looked up chords to a song I don't like but have to play at church tomorrow...btw the chords are hard and I hate the song even more now than when I started. That has been my whole day. I am so cool.

So for now until I can find a new title my blog will be called untitled.